This summer is a life-changing summer. Within the past 24 hours, I have submitted my application to medical school and taken the MCAT (Medical College Admissions Test). For the past 8 weeks, my days were composed of 6+ hours of studying in preparation for, arguably, the biggest exam of my life. Along the way, I have been stressing and second guessing myself, my knowledge, and my abilities. Toward the end I started running out of gas (unfortunately I often took this out on my parents). I knew the preparation for the MCAT would be difficult and require a lot of time, energy, and motivation, but I didn’t fully understand exactly how taxing it would be. I began questioning myself, lacking self-confidence, and wishing God had made me smarter, more motivated, or even led me to a different career path. But after a couple of weeks of keeping my head in my MCAT books, when I finally put my head in the Good Book, I found this verse:
“For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him”
It was then that I realized I was more focused on what I could do to prepare than asking for His strength to help me in the process.
I tried to turn a situation that God wanted to use to glorify Himself into a situation about me and my talents and all my hard work. I can be so selfish sometimes, thinking that everything I achieve is through my own power.
The verse says that He gives you the desire…. I truly believe that God has called me to be a doctor, and when He calls us to do something He gives us the power. He will give us the tools necessary to execute His plan. I cannot be complacent and not do my part, but God has equipped me with what I need, His strength. (WHAT A RELIEF!)
I would always say that no matter what happens, I will trust that it is God’s will, because it seemed like what I should say, but this summer I have come to believe it. I have learned how much of a difference it makes to take a step back and put myself in the mindset that I do everything for His glory and by His power. I lost sight of this so many times along the way but allowing myself to rely on His strength for everything actually lifts a weight off of my shoulders. What a humbling experience to witness firsthand the truth that my strength comes from Him. God knows me. Precisely. Perfectly. He knows my talents, as they have all come from Him. My talents are blood-bought gifts, not of my own abilities, but His grace. God will get me into medical school in His own time, if that is His will.
Cast all your worries on God. He is strength.